I pray now a prayer unlike You’ve heard from me yet. Let my prayer be felt in Your heart, not heard in Your ears. Let me be known to You, in all that I am, all that I’ve felt, all that I’ve felt or cared for. Let this be the prayer in which You knew me, and I knew You.Let there be poetry, let there be visions, let there be Father and child here. Let me speak true and speak void of self with an honest heart.
Father I long for a day that sets the numbers aside. The number arrives and I wake, the papers show a number that comes short of the goal for an entity that men have devised. The banks that caption my worth within imaginary money, Father I’m tired of it. I’m exhausted.
The numbers can’t speak to how well I do at raising a child. The numbers don’t speak to the selflessness of my heart. Numbers cannot relate to my love and my compassion. Yet this culture, these people, this world asks that I lay all aside in favor of the numbers. Well I don’t love the numbers. I have no heart for them.
I hear the words of Your messenger. He instructs us to give it all away and follow Him. Yet those that claim to speak on His behalf today are the most prominent proponents of the numbers. How is it that the man who speaks out against the Pharisees is now spoken for by Pharisees?
Yeshua tells us to serve only one master, yet these people speak of a nation more highly than You. They sell nothing and they go against his parables, burying their belongings rather than investing them. And the size of their hoardings is heralded by these people and their nation. My Father these are not Your people. They cannot be, it could never be. Their vanity shows this.
I live among a lie. I live among a people that love false, invisible entities. If they own much, they say “I am blessed.” Why don’t they say “I am a unaware,” or “I serve another master”? And they believe it. It’s truth to them.
Father, to know You in the midst of all this is the most difficult of things. You said that I would be hated for You. And I can see that I will be hated. I am woeful that those who will hate me are those that most firmly believe they do it in Your name. Protect and further this message Father. Let us all soon return to the values of love, and begin our rejection of the numbers and our makings. Let the Pharisees of today be called out for who they are. Provide me with joy, no matter the circumstances. Let me know You, let me be with You, and show me the way to make You proud.
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